


Oneshots

by Go_get_Jakes_gun



Series: Long, LONG ago... [2]
Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Executioner Thor, Fondling an underage individual, Gladiators, Groping, Hate to Love, Idiots in Love, Implied Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Intersex Jotunn (Marvel), Intersex Loki, Laufey's A+ Parenting (Marvel), M/M, Poor Jarnsaxa :( Nobody loves him, Secret Relationship, Thor will have to learn to live with it, i guess, loki's a little shit, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Go_get_Jakes_gun/pseuds/Go_get_Jakes_gun
Summary: A series of oneshots to support a much, MUCH bigger oneshot. Centred around The Executioner (good idea to read that before this) it explores various parts of the plot that might have felt a bit neglected- also just some filler stuff with cute Thorki bits. Explores how the characters age too.NONE OF THESE ARE IN ORDER!
Relationships: Balder/Karnilla, Farbauti/Laufey (Marvel), Helblindi (Marvel)/Original Male Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Original Male Character(s), Loki/Thor (Marvel), Thor (Marvel)/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Long, LONG ago... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052066
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	1. ... (T)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD to post something today, with all the new Marvel news- also dID ANYONE ELSE REALISE THAT IN THE LAST SHOT OF THE LOKI FOOTAGE HE WAS DRESSED LIKE HE DOES IN THAT COMIC WHERE HE RUNS FOR PRESIDENT!? I legit saw him in that getup, had to pause the video, and realised it says 'vote Loki' oMG!  
> Also nice to hear him call out to Thor and Heimdall (I mean, we knew that Thor at the least would be in it, right? There is no Loki without Thor, and vice-versa).

Loki combed through a dark black book titled _Majicks and Mysteries, a Sorcerer’s Guide to Illusion and Obfuscation_. He’d managed to find it at the last Summit, which had been on Vanaheim. The Vanir were proud of their magic and seidr, every single bookshop in the realm had magic books.

Unlike on Jotunheimr where… wait, that wasn’t fair. There were no bookshops on Jotunheimr. 

Knowing that his father would not approve, he’d nicked it from the store. Nobody would dare question a prince, they were so lucky that he had even graced that store with his presence, truly.

A knock sounded on his door, Helblindi stood in the doorway. Funny, Loki did not remember giving him permission to enter. “Brother, it is dinner time. New book?”

“Yes.” Loki set it down to go with his brother to dinner. “I hear you’ve a girlfriend?”

Helblindi stared at Loki in confusion. “What? Who?” Oh, so his brother didn’t know then? That was funny really, not knowing you were in a relationship. Could **_not_** be Loki, Loki would certainly know if he was in a relationship or not.

“Never mind.” He’d leave it to Atla to inform Helblindi that they were married. Loki sniggered internally. He’d shipped them together since they were younger. Atla was always **_such_** a wife.

They got to dinner. Loki felt Thor staring at him, no doubt to ask him if he’d seen Hoder again. Loki looked up at Thor in a way that would confirm that Loki would answer all questions post-dinner.

Laufey chugged down wine and talked to Thor about his latest sexploits. Loki personally didn’t think that this was appropriate behaviour to engage in when one was married, nor when one’s wife sat only a few feet away from him, lame and helpless. Well, okay that was definitely an exaggeration, but Farbauti was far from in good health too. Not mentally, at least. Loki had heard a rumour that his mother had been plucking the heads of flowers off of their stalks and then throwing them in the trash, leaving a pool of stems in the vase. Loki did **_not_** want to be Jarnsaxa right now, given that it was Jarnsaxa who spent the most time with Farbauti  ~~probably trying to con him out of all of his jewellery even though that time was dwindling now that he was older and more interested in amorous pursuits.~~

Poor Thor. Not that Loki cared in the slightest how Thor fared on account of his cousin’s attentions. And besides, from what Loki knew, there had been **_plenty_** impropriety between those two, so Thor was more than well-compensated for his part.

After dinner was over, Loki went upstairs to his room. Two hours later was when Thor joined.

“He’s fine. Other than being blind, he’s in good health.” Loki said, immediately, knowing what Thor wanted. But rather than nod and leave, Thor stayed. Oh? “Thor?”

Sir Thor looked at him, almost shyly. For an Executioner who had killed seven full-grown Frost Giants in the ring at the same time, Loki never would have thought that shy could be an _option_ on one’s face. Then, he supposed, every man was shy of something. Even he himself.

“Uh, did you see anyone else?”

“Like?”

“Uh, you know. There’s a bunch of **_rulers_** and stuff…”

Oh. A flash of anger swept through Loki. Make no mistake, he thought that Thor was trash. Literally, beside a description of ‘trash’ in any encyclopaedia, there would be a picture of Thor, but Loki thought that it was sad- pathetic, really- that Thor would be asking after the same man that had sent him here of all places as a little boy.

“Odin? He is fine. Your mother was not in attendance, I imagine she was running Asgard.”

“Oh.” Thor nodded. “Does he still have his big grey beard?”

“Of course. You Aesir **_love_** your facial hair.” Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m glad that Hoder does not have one- he’s very good looking, but with a beard?” Loki shuddered, not noticing the sudden cloud of darkness in Thor’s eyes.

“Thanks.” Thor nodded, leaving then. Loki picked up his book once more and continued to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take my 'thank you for not making this 50k again!'s in the form of comments 😘 (JK! Lmao, I'm just hyped up today, lol!)


	2. Wavin' flag (T)

“Kjóll!” Loki said, hair dripping wet from Thor’s decision to shove him into a lake- a bloody cold one too! They’d been crossing a bridge at the same time and Thor, who had **_never_** been disciplined by Loki’s father for such rude behaviour, had pretended to yawn, pushing Loki into the cold water.

A cackling Thor was no longer cackling as suddenly his loincloth was replaced by a frilly pink frock. Jarnsaxa’s gaggle of friends (all of whom were quickly being re-dubbed ‘the gaggle’ or ‘Thor’s gaggle’ given how they all fawned over the man) turned to Loki in outrage.

“What have you done you witch!?” Sifka spun on Loki, spear drawn and aimed at him. Butch Frost Bitches were always terrifying, more so than most Frost Studs to be quite honest. 

“Turn. Him. Back. Loki.” Jarnsaxa commanded, as though he had any authority to do so. Bitch, who do you think you are?

“Nope!” Loki popped the ‘p’, and before Thor or any in his gaggle could attack Loki, Loki was gone. Seidr truly was a gift from the gods.

.

Loki had been diligent in avoiding Thor for the first week. He had, instead, heard tales from a disappointed Helblindi that Thor had not managed to take the dress off. Had his father been home at the time, he’d have beaten Loki until he agreed to take the dress off of Thor, but luckily Laufey was visiting his brother-in-law in Thrymheim at the decadal Meeting Of Jotunn Leaders (or MJL) wherein the various kings of Jotunheimr would gather for a conference. It took three days to travel to Thrymheim when one was travelling alone. Add in a whole procession, and a mentally-fragile wife, and that trip easily hit 5 days both ways, plus the time actually spent at the meeting.

Apparently Thor had gone so far as to try and ripping the garment off with a knife, and was thinking about burning it. Loki chuckled. The elements were no match for his magic.

The problem with Loki was that he was a provocateur. He was nimble and nifty and gifted with magic to aid him in his escapes, which was definitely helpful. Loki crept into Thor’s rooms, leaving the safety of his own magically-guarded rooms.

“I see you’re still in that dress.” Loki dodged Storm Breaker as it flew past his head. A narrow miss, but Thor must have accounted for Loki moving out of the way. Thor would not be stupid enough to damage Loki, not when Loki was needed to strike an alliance with Gymir. “So pretty in pink, you are!”

Lightning buzzed around Thor’s cuffs, but with them on Loki was in no real danger, he knew. Pssh, Thor couldn’t summon **_lightning_**. Not with those cuffs on. “Take. This. Dress. Off. **_Sorcerer!_** ”

“Not until you can admit that you’re no match for my magic!” Loki jumped out of the way as Thor’s fist found its way to where his stomach used to be. Loki ran around the room, casting spells at Thor. He **_knew_** he could escape.

What he hadn’t expected was that absolute **_moron_** of a cousin of his to decide to visit Thor at that very moment. To stand in front of the door, holding it open and greeting Thor with a purred ‘ _Thoorrr!’_ Which naturally resulted in Loki crashing into him.

And falling down.

And being picked up by the scruff of his neck. (“I’m giving you _one last chance_.” Thor warned.

“Never!” Loki spat.)

And being hung up on a pole. Like a windsock or a flag or some other garment that flew in the wind. And having an unusual amount of wind toss him around just **_like_** one of those aforementioned cloths. Or having rain and hail and lightning pour down upon him.

Countless Jotnar, over the next few days, came to gawk and stare at poor Loki. Jarnsaxa and his gaggle had come over with rotten fruit and had begun throwing it at Loki. Tomatoes hitting him square in the chin. Oh well, the rain would wash this off afterwards. Jarnsaxa laughed and giggled and made rude gestures at him. Fucking cunt.

Loki thought that the most humiliating thing about the whole ordeal was that Byleistr had found him **_seven days_** later, battered and torn and tired. “Brother! I’d thought you were just skipping meals, but then a guard told me you were here!” Byleistr untied Loki. Then, as his older brother was prone to do, Byleistr tried to make a joke. “You literally look like something Barbada dragged in.” Byleistr was referring to their sabre-toothed tiger.

“Gee, thanks By.” Loki’s voice was hoarse.

When he saw Thor at dinner the next day, that smug bastard was smirking in his dress. His pink-ass-fucking dress. He was going to kill that bastard long before the man ever killed him.

Then Thor picked up his sausage and bit the top half off in a clean snap. Nah, Thor was still probably going to kill him.

All-in-all, the only thing that couldn’t be healed with rocks was the cold Loki had caught from being out there in the cold and rain for a week.

And as for Thor? Well, his dress disappeared seconds before Laufey arrived. 

And the rest was history.


End file.
